SELF-IMAGE & HABITS

By: Jack Guyler

Our self-image is crucial to our mental, emotional and spiritual health. We will do everything, and then some, to preserve our self-image. If we like the picture we have of ourselves, we will do everything to make sure that picture stays in tack. And if we don’t like the picture we have of ourselves, we will work to conform to a picture that we find desirable. We are always working to maintain our self-image or the image we desire.

Why does this matter when it comes to creating habits? As James Clear points out, as has many others, we may or may not be born with a blank slate (I don’t personally think we are born with a blank slate due to genetics and what happens in the womb), but one thing all agree on is that we aren’t born with pre-set beliefs or a fully developed self-image. How we grow up and things we do matter in building our self-image or identity as a person. In other words, if we are taught to make our bed, brush our teeth and shower daily, part of our self-image will develop into us seeing ourselves as a neat and clean person. Or if we develop good study habits, part of our identity will be that of being a good student. These habits inform our identity. As we go on in life, our habits reinforce our identity and our identity reinforces our habits. [1]

Further, when we have goals that align with our habits, and those habits align with our identity or self-image, it becomes a very powerful triad. When you do certain things because of who you are, this becomes a powerful pathway to success.

For example, your goal may be to go on a diet to lose weight. But when you develop good eating habits that help you create a healthy self-image, then you eat foods that feed your self-image, not just your stomach. In other words, you are no longer on a diet, but rather are eating in alignment with who you see yourself to be – a healthy person.

Here is another example. You may set a goal to be a nicer or kinder person. As you practice this and develop habits to become a nicer person to other people, you begin to see yourself as a more caring, loving and compassionate person. And the more you see yourself this way (as loving and kind), the more loving and kind acts you will do because it is becoming who you are. Now you are no longer just trying to do random acts of kindness, but rather you are growing into the person you see yourself to be – a loving and generous person.

So, I hope you see how essential it is to align your habits with your self-image or identity. This is where so many people fail in attempting to achieve a goal – they don’t marry these two together. You can’t succeed at achieving a goal long-term if these aren’t in sync. As Clear says, “the real reason habits matter is not because they can get you better results but because they can change your beliefs about yourself.” [2]

TAKE AWAY: Our habits reinforce our identity and our identity reinforces our habits for good or bad.

1 - Atomic Habits, James Clear

2 – Atomic Habits, James Clear