DOWN ON YOU
DOWN ON YOU
By: Jack Guyler
One of the most debilitating things we can suffer from is being down on ourselves. I don’t mean being upset because you didn’t get an A on the test or struck out in the game. I’m talking about what is called “low self-esteem” or “low self-worth.” So many people battle this on a daily basis. It is almost like a disease of the mind, heart and the emotions. It causes people to constantly feel bad about themselves, to see themselves in a negative light and makes them feel like they are basically worthless. It is one thing to think you aren’t good at something. Maybe you don’t have a certain skill. Maybe you aren’t good at golf or using technology. But when you suffer from low self-esteem, you see yourself as a failure or person of little worth.
Why is this so unhealthy? First, because every person has been created in the image of God, thus making them valuable. Second, every person is a person of worth and dignity. We should never degrade ourselves. There are some things we are really good at and some we may not be good at. But when we don’t see our worth, this discolors even the good about our lives. Third, every person has been created to contribute to the world around them in a positive way. No matter how few abilities you might think you have, you have at least a few. I think of the story Jesus told about the three men who were given various talents. One was given a lot, the second some and the third just a little. The man given the little did nothing. I’m thinking he suffered from low self-esteem and didn’t think his little talent amounted to anything, at least not in comparison to the other guys. And this is what low self-esteem does to us – it convinces us to not use any of the abilities God has given us because they aren’t good enough. This keeps us from fulfilling what God has for us and at the same time, deprives the world of what we have to offer.
The other thing I notice about people, including myself, who suffer from low self-esteem, is that they project it onto others. When you don’t feel good about yourself, you don’t treat others well. As the saying goes, “hurt people, hurt people.” When we are healthy, we function out of our healthiness and we are able to give people the best of us which might include kindness, acceptance, forgiveness and grace. And when we function out of unhealthiness, we tend to spew anger, demeaning words and defensiveness at others. To be real, nobody always feels good about themselves and nobody ever functions totally out of their healthiness. Life is lived on a continuum. The question we need to ask ourselves is, on what side of the continuum do we live most of our life? What do the people closest to us say about us most of the time? The objective is to grow toward the healthier end of the continuum. For those who want to become mature as Christ followers, we need to focus on seeing the goodness that God has put in us and how He wants to use our lives to influence others.
If you feel low self-esteem or low self-worth is a problem for you – something that keeps you from feeling good about yourself and fulfilling God’s purpose for you, then you may want to consider getting help. I have been blessed in my own life with two wonderful counselors who have helped me through this issue and others. Believe me, I haven’t arrived at perfect mental or emotional health by any means, but I am much healthier because I sought help and I can also recognize pretty quickly when I am moving in the wrong direction to reach out for help or get back to the things that keep me on track. There will be a resource page in this series should you want to reach out for help. You don’t need to live feeling bad about yourself. God doesn’t want that for you!
TAKE AWAY: God wants you to feel good about the person He has created you to be!
