MANAGING HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM

MANAGING HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM

By: Jack Guyler

If you are prone to low self-esteem, you will probably never fully get over it or beyond it. I haven’t. However, I want to extend a life line of hope to you in saying you can manage it. You can grow. You can become a stronger person. And when things trigger those feelings of “I’m not very good…or I always mess up…” you will be able to recognize them quicker and get a handle on them so you aren’t down for the count so long.

Here is a question I ask myself over and again: “Does thinking badly about myself help me to feel better about myself?” And of course the answer is always “no.” So this begins to snatch me back into reality – the reality of me often being my own worst enemy. From here, I begin to take positive action. And action is the real key. As James Clear states: “The most practical way to change who you are is to change what you do.” [1] And that is so true for those of us dealing with low self-esteem. You can sit around analyzing your thoughts…feeling bad for yourself…hosting a big pity party…or beating yourself up. But unfortunately none of these help; they all make you worse. Taking action is the quickest and best way to pull yourself out of negative self-thinking and feeling better about yourself. Here are some action steps I take to move out of feeling down and worthless to become more productive which lead to me feeling like my life counts:

• I make a list of things I need to do

• Then I schedule those things that I wrote down to do. This is another step toward me actually taking action in getting things done

• When I have accomplished doing anything on my list, I take great delight in crossing them off. This might sound silly, but as you cross each one off, you are building positive momentum and reducing the negative impact of low self-esteem

• I spend time journaling my negative inner thoughts. Writing them down keeps them from continuing to roll around in my head. Seeing them in writing helps reduce their power over me

• I intentionally either schedule time with upbeat friends or make sure I schedule things I enjoy doing that both get my mind off feeling bad and give me a positive lift mentally and emotionally

• I make sure I do physical activity, such as a favorite sport that I play, walk my dogs or go to the gym. Because of the mind-body connection, anything I do physically will not only benefit my body and health, but will also help release endorphins that will help you feel better mentally and emotionally

• When you suffer from low self-esteem, it’s easy to think of all of your failures and flaws. However, to counter this, you need to make a list of the good and positive aspects of your life (both things you know about yourself as well as what others have told you over the years)

The key to managing your low self-esteem is to take actions that get you moving out of your own thoughts and to really focus on your positive attributes as a person. While God deeply loves us and thinks highly of us, in order for us to really feel that and be energized by it, we have to put those feelings into action and use them as positive momentum.

Atomic Habits, James Clear