WHAT DO YOU SEE WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR? (Part 1)
WHAT DO YOU SEE WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR? (Part 1)
By: Jack Guyler
What do you see when you look in the mirror? Let me ask it another way, “when you think about yourself, what thoughts do you have?” It’s a very important question. There is a reason why drug use, alcohol use, porn use, over the counter medication use and suicide are all on the rise. We are living at a time where people, of all ages, in record numbers, feel terrible about themselves. Often many of these people are considered very successful in the eyes of our society. Success, money and accomplishments don’t insulate people from the destruction of low self-esteem or low self-worth.
People are in search of things to make them feel good or they are in search of things to medicate the pain of not feeling good about themselves. Low self-esteem has more to do with how you see yourself than how others see you or what has been done to you.
What exactly is low self-esteem or self-worth? It’s a hard thing to put your finger on, but you know it when you’re in its grip. It’s usually the dreadful feeling of inadequacy, inferiority, never measuring up, never being good enough and just feeling like you suck all the time as a person. It is different from not feeling like you can do something, such as play a sport or give a speech. Low self-esteem is something that comes over you and seems to fill you from the inside and that no matter where you are, who you are with or what you are doing, you have great doubts about yourself, as well as thinking other people don’t like you or think you’re incompetent. These thoughts and feelings even take hold of you when you are by yourself, reminding you over and over again you are pretty much useless or worthless.
These feelings never lead anywhere good. We are ever searching to find something that we can succeed at to make us feel better or prove to ourselves that we aren’t completely worthless or we seek out things that make us feel better temporally, but then usually make us feel even worse later. They also can cripple us in doing meaningful work, making money to give to others in need, in being a friend to others or having meaningful and sustaining relationships.
The worst part of low self-esteem is that we always feel like we are disappointing ourselves. The things we want to do…the things we think we could achieve…the relationships we would love to have…we often end up sabotaging with our own words and actions. When you suffer from low self-esteem, you do act around others as if you don’t have anything worthwhile to contribute or that you give off a negative vibe to the point that others really don’t want to be around you. And this is so tragic, because this isn’t the real you. The real you other people would gladly embrace and love to get to know. However, because we feel so lousy about ourselves and are feeling such pain inside; the only thing we have to offer others is our pain and negative emotions. You can begin to understand why low self-esteem is such a vicious cycle.
Imagine how hard every day is when you are constantly pulled down by your own doubts and inner criticisms. When every day you question yourself and wonder if others question you as well. It really becomes an issue of trust and energy. When you don’t trust yourself because you don’t feel good enough about yourself, you often don’t have the energy to do even the simple things in life because you feel so fractured and broken. While no one is good at everything, there are actually people who feel good about themselves as a person and even when they fail at something, they don’t allow it to affect them as a person. When they look in the mirror, they like what they see. So, let me ask you again, what do you see when you look in the mirror? We’ll continue this discussion in part 2.
